WHO´S FOR JULIO?

Budgetary constraints mean that we have to choose carefully when planning our culture fixes here on Mallorca. I'd love to have seen the performances of George Benson, Bonnie Tyler and Al Jarreau during their visits to the island, but sadly there's a limit to how much we can spend on nights out (doing up an old finca is a costly business). It's a far cry from my old radio days in the UK, when I was often given free tickets to gigs and the theatre. But we do splash the cash from time to time: Van Morrison, Joe Cocker, and Simply Red were all absolutely brilliant and worth every centimo..

We're lucky to get some great acts appearing here. In fact, for a certain sector of music lovers, there's a huge treat in store: Julio Iglesias is performing at the Auditorium in Palma for one night, and one night only, as part of a worldwide tour celebrating the legendary Latino's 40 years in the biz. Now I'm not exactly a huge Julio fan – his son Enrique is more my glass of Sangria – but I do respect his achievements as a performer. But I wouldn't – and couldn't – pay 500 or 750 euros for a ticket to see him!

Yes, you read correctly: 500 or 750 euros. Have the organisers not heard of la crisis, the Spanish buzzword for the current economic downturn? Who's going to buy these tickets?

The delightful Spanish Royal family is currently on the island enjoying some time at their holiday home, the Palacio Marivent, and might want to see Spain's best-known singer in action. But would they have to pay for their tickets?

So the audience for this concert seems set to be the wealthy and privileged – and predominantly female. Julio will be 65 next month but, like a lot of men, seems to have become better looking with age. He's clearly lost none of the appeal he had when he was younger and a renowned babe magnet.

Do women throw their knickers at Julio on stage, as they do at Tom Jones's concerts? If so, with ticket prices so high, you can bet there won't be any baggy, off-white pairs from a high street chain store whizzing in Julio's direction. Nothing less than La Perla for the King of Crooners!

Julio Iglesias is undoubtedly the most successful Latin singer in musical history, but if The Boss and I were suddenly to have a one thousand euro windfall, which would it be? Two tickets in the cheap seats for His Julioness? Or the following fixtures for our finca (coming in at roughly the same price):

- new loo seat to replace the cracked one in our shower room
- replacement shutters for several windows
- installation of an insect screen or two
- wall tiles above the kitchen worktops and sink (at last)

Sadly, it's no contest. Pass the tile-cutter.

Copyright Jan Edwards 2008